Almost every Jewish holiday has its non-Jewish "counterpart," a holiday observed by Gentiles around the same time and with similar themes as our holidays. But despite their apparent similarities, they are actually worlds apart.






Hanukkah vs. Christmas

Reason for Holiday

Hanukkah: Miraculous victory!!

The Assyrian Greek king Antiochus enacted harsh anti-Jewish decrees, with an aim to do away with our religion. Most Jews complied, either out of loyalty to the Greeks or out of fear. A small group of Jewish zealots began a guerrilla war against the vastly-more-numerous Greek army. After two years, on the 25th of Kislev, the Jews had reclaimed, repurified, and rededicated the Temple which had been defiled by the Greeks. And at the end of the fighting, the Jews had reestablished autonomy in our homeland for the first time since the Babylonian invasion hundreds of years earlier.


Christmas: god's birthday!! (well, sort of....)

Mary, a woman who was carrying a child conceived (allegedly) by the Holy Spirit, gave birth to Jesus. Jesus would later be hailed as the Messiah, and eventually as the son of God and even a part of god. However, the date of December 25th is not necessarily the actual date of Jesus' birth. It's probable that the date was chosen to coincide with the Roman winter solstice or some other pagan celebration like Saturnalia.

Score:
Although Christmas is a celebration of vast importance to the Christians (more on that later), it is disqualified for celebrating this particular event at this particular time. Heck, Jesus could have been born in February for all we know.
Hanukkah: 1; Christmas: 0

Duration of Celebration

Hanukkah: 8 days

According to I Maccabees, the celebration of the Temple's re-dedication lasted for eight days and was thus the basis for subsequent generations to do the same. According to the Talmud, there was one day's-worth jar of pure, Menorah-worthy oil left from the Greeks' defiling of the Temple. This oil miraculously burned for eight days, thus giving the Jews more time to produce more pure oil.


Christmas: 12 days

According to early Christian sources, January 6th is the date of Jesus' baptism - twelve days after his birth. But seeing as how Jesus was Jewish, it's unlikely that he was baptized in accordance with Catholic tradition. (However, eight days after December 25th is January 1st, what is commonly referred to as New Year's Day, which would have been little Jesus' circumcision date.)

Score:
Both holidays have sketchy reasons for their duration: I Maccabees is not 100% reliable, and the Christian sources are vague at best. But the point is once again lost to Christmas for their applying anachronistic practices to a first-century Jewish child.
Hanukkah: 2; Christmas: 0

Religious Practices

Hanukkah: Lighting candles at nightfall

In commemoration of the traditional story of the miraculous oil used to light the Menorah, a candelabra with eight candles (plus one extra "service" candle that lights the others) is lit; one candle on the first night, followed by two on the second, and so on until eight candles are lit on the eighth night. The candles are lit at nightfall in a very visible place (by the front door of the house or in a prominent window) to publicize the miracle God performed for us.


Christmas: Midnight Mass

Unlike most mass ceremonies, which are held in the daytime, Christmas holds a mass late at night to commemorate Jesus' nighttime birth. Some churches start the mass earlier in the evening, but most begin at midnight. The mass, which includes prayers, songs, and sermons, can last upwards of two hours.

Score:
When you compare lighting candles to devoutly praying in a house of worship, the first one's gotta lose. This is probably the biggest church-going holiday the Christians have. Heck, the very name of the holiday mean's "Christ's Mass." It's literally the defining aspect of the holiday.
Hanukkah: 2; Christmas: 1

Paraphernalia

Hanukkah: Chanukia (Menorah)

The candelabra mentioned above is called a Chanukia (although many call it a Menorah, this is an error; the Menorah was the 7-branched candelabra in the Temple). It must have room for eight candles (plus the "service" candle to light the others), and they must all be level with one another. Other than that, the design, shape, and size of the Chanukia is totally up to the individual.


Christmas: Christmas tree

Based on 15th century Germanic custom, an evergreen tree, usually a Douglas Fir tree, is placed in the home and decorated. The tree may be real or synthetic. There are no specifications as to the size, shape, or color of the tree. The decorations are left entirely up to the individual.

Score:
Both the Chanukia and the Christmas tree are classic icons of their respective religions. Each one allows for individual expressions toward the respective holidays. The sight of both immediately triggers feelings of fondness for the holiday they represent. It seems like this point could be a tie. However, keeping a Chanukia out on display after the holiday is common; in fact, many Jews use their Chanukia as part of their house's decor. The same cannot be said for a Christmas tree; on the contrary, it's considered gauche to keep it out for too long past the holiday. So, on a technicality, the point goes to Hanukkah.
Hanukkah: 3; Christmas: 1

Songs

Hanukkah: Folk/Children's songs

Most of the songs for Hanukkah are catchy tunes with easy lyrics that mention the different aspects of the holiday. None of them are particularly famous songs outside the Jewish community.


Christmas: Religious, Carols, Gospel, Rock & Roll, Blues, Children's, Punk, etc.

Christmas songs fall into so many different categories. There are certainly some that are less popular, like some of the more somber carols, but many of them are catchy tunes sung by world famous artists.

Score:
Not even a contest. Christmas songs are known throughout the world. All we have is "I Have a Little Dreidle."
Hanukkah: 3; Christmas: 2

Representatives

Hanukkah: Judah Maccabee

One of the most dynamic, brave, and God-fearing military leaders the Jews have ever had. Son of Mattathias, the high priest, Judah led the revolt of a small guerrilla force against the largest army in the world at that time, the Assyrian Greeks. Through a combination of faith and strategy, Judah was successful in defeating the superpower. Although he died in battle before the Jews won their autonomy, the main victories against the Greeks are all attributed to Judah.


Christmas: Jesus, Santa Claus

Seeing as how this holiday (inaccurately) celebrates the birth of Jesus, it's only natural that Jesus would be the main representative. According to Christianity, Jesus was a pretty big deal, to say the least. See above for why. But Christmas is also represented by Santa Claus. Based on a Turkish priest, Santa Claus is a mythical character who lives at the North Pole, and delivers gifts to children on Christmas.

Score:
Although Judah Maccabee is more historically (and realistically) suited to his holiday than Jesus and Santa are to theirs, he's never been portrayed in the media as well as either of them. This point really should go to Hanukkah, but thanks to a poor PR effort on the Jews' part, it goes to Christmas instead.
Hanukkah: 3; Christmas: 3

Movies/TV

Hanukkah: Eight Crazy Nights, The Hebrew Hammer, and a few others

There have been a number of attempts at Hanukkah representation in the media. The movies mentioned above are two famous ones, but they also heavily feature Christmas as well. Other than that, the pickin's are pretty slim.
As for TV, there's the Rugrats Hanukkah special, and maybe a few other episodes here and there mentioning the holiday.


Christmas: Dozens, if not hundreds, of movies, plus every TV show ever (almost).

Every genre of movie includes Christmas stories: Comedy (A Christmas Story), Drama (It's a Wonderful Life), Romantic (Love Actually), Action (Die Hard), even sci-fi (Santa Claus Conquers the Martians). And although I only gave one example of each genre, there are plenty more in each one.
As for TV, every show I can remember has had a special Christmas episode. Every. Single. One.

Score:
It's a good thing for Hanukkah that this is only worth one point, that's all I'm saying.
Hanukkah: 3; Christmas: 4

Assorted Customs

Hanukkah: Oily food, Dairy, Dreidle, Gifts

Because the miracle we learned happened in the Temple revolved around oil, it's customary to eat foods with oil in them. Classic favorites are Latkes (fried potato pancakes) and doughnuts, but any fried food will do.
Another legend tells us that the Greeks practiced "Droit du seigneur," or the right of a noble/officer to take the virginity of the maidens under is rule/authority. One such maiden, Judith, fed cheese and wine to her Greek would-be violator, making him drunk and/or drowsy. When he passed out, she cut off his head. To commemorate this stance against Greek oppression, it is customary to eat dairy foods on Hanukkah as well.
The Dreidle is a spinning top with four sides, each side bearing a Hebrew letter :נ,ג,ה, and פ, representing the Hebrew words נם גדול היה פה, a great miracle happened here (diaspora dreidles substitute the פ for פה, here, with a ש for שם, there). Various rules are applied to what happens when a player's dreidle spin reults in any of the letters, but this is the iconic game of the holiday.
And finally, there is the gift-giving. The tradition started with students presenting gifts to their teachers, but has evolved to the practice today of people exchanging gifts after the night's candles have been lit.

Christmas: Gifts, Christmas Dinner, Mistletoe, Caroling, It's a Wonderful Life

The most well-known Christmas custom is that of exchanging gifts by the Christmas tree. Many families leave the gifts under the tree until morning, at which point all gifts are opened. Coworkers and classmates are also encouraged to exchange gifts; there's even a game called "Secret Santa" in which gifts are exchanged anonymously.
Christmas dinner is the holiday dinner for Christians. Families travel across oceans and continents to be with each other for this meal. It's usually a very opulent, multi-course meal with many delicacies.
Mistletoe is a small plant hung as a decoration, usually over a doorway. Customarily, anyone caught standing under the mistletoe must be kissed.
On Christmas eve, there is a custom for people to wander their neighborhoods in groups, singing Christmas carols in front of other people's homes. This is a way to spread the "Christmas cheer."
And of course, there is the near-divine custom of watching the Frank Capra classic movie "It's a Wonderful Life." The film used to be aired ad nauseum on every network during the weeks leading up to Christmas, but now it is owned by NBC and only aired once a year, on Christmas eve.

Score:
Once again, the Jewish side loses because of poor PR. Sure, the customs are about the same in fun and religious significance, but Christmas has been much better represented in popular media. The image of Santa coming down a chimney is universally recognized; the image of Judith beheading Holofernes is not.
Hanukkah: 3; Christmas: 5

So, when the dust settles, it looks like Christmas is the winner. I know many of you thought that I would skew things so that Hanukkah would win, but I'm just being fair here. If you have any suggestions for more categories for the holidays to compete, please let me know. Any other comments would be more than welcome. Otherwise, have a happy Hanukkah to my fellow Jews. And for those gentiles reading this, congratulations on your win and have a merry Christmas. (But I still think Christmas should have been disqualified from the whole thig for the first category. I'm just saying)