Chapter 6: Sleepless in Shushan
That night, Achashverosh could not sleep. There were too many things racing around his mind. What did Esther mean when she said she wanted to invite the king and Haman to a banquet she prepared "for him?" Who is him? Ahchashverosh? Then why does Haman need to be there? Maybe "him" is Haman. But why would Esther make a party for Haman? What's going on between them? Are they having an affair? How do they even know each other? When did they meet?
Achashverosh wants to get to the bottom of all these questions. In order to figure this out, he orders his servants to bring him his daily chronicles. Their mission is to find a connection between Esther and Haman. If the two of them are having an affair, they would have first met in the palace at some point. To find mention of Haman is too easy; he's been the king's sole advisor for years now. The problem is, there's too much Haman-related material to sift through. But Esther is usually confined to the women's court, so any activity she's had in the palace or throne room will be easily found in the chronicles.
As the servants look for the earliest mention of her courtly activities, they come across the plot to kill the king by Bigtan and Teresh. They remark that although Esther relayed the information to the king, she didn't uncover the plot herself. It seems a low-level courtier named Mordechai is the one who discovered it. Achashverosh asks:
"What honor was bestowed upon him as his reward? What title was he given?"
They respond: "Nothing was done for him."
Nothing? A man goes out of his way to save the life of the king, and he gets nothing? How could Achashverosh overlook something like this? If no reward is given for saving the king's life, then why would anyone bother? Achashverosh suddenly realizes that he is much more vulnerable than he thought. There could be a plot against his life right now, for all he knows. And it won't be lowly guards this time, either. With each attempt the assassins will become bolder. They could conspire with with someone who has access to more sensitive areas of the palace, like the kitchen, the throne room, or even his bedroom!
Just as these paranoid thoughts are spinning through Achashverosh's head, he realizes someone is in the court, just outside his room!
"Who is in my courtyard, in the middle of the night?"
The mystery man in the courtyard is Haman. His wife wisely advised him to wait until morning to ask the king for permission to hang Mordechai. But like Calvin and Hobbes at Christmas, Haman can't wait until morning. He is so excited about getting rid of Mordechai (the very man the king was just thinking of rewarding, mind you), that he paid no attention to the impetuousness of his actions; he was coming to the bed-chamber of the most paranoid ruler of all time, in the middle of the night. Not smart.
"It's Haman," report the servants.
This is not normal behavior for his vizier. Or is it? Haman is pretty comfortable walking wherever he pleases in the palace. He even has everyone kneeling to him. How well does Achashverosh know Haman, anyway? He was promoted with lightning speed up the ranks. He has more money and honor than anyone in the kingdom, except Achashverosh himself. It's possible that he's been sleeping with the queen, and now he feels bold enough to walk in the most security-sensitive parts of the palace whenever he wants? He is becoming far too powerful. And powerful men are rarely satisfied with what they have. How ambitious is this Haman? Could he be so bold as to want the crown? Achashverosh intends to find out.
He asks Haman the most loaded question ever.
"Haman," asks Achashverosh, "What should be done with a man upon whom the king wishes to bestow an honor?"
The question is seemingly about anyone. But Achashverosh knows Haman. He knows that Haman is so egocentric that he will assume the question is referring to him. And it's in Haman's reply that he reveals what he really wants:
"The man upon whom the king wishes to bestow an honor should be dressed in the king's clothes. He should ride on the very horse the king rode when he was crowned. In fact, he should wear the crown itself! There should be a grand parade through the streets, with the entire royal court leading this man. An honored and important minister should lead the way, shouting: 'Thus shall be done to the man whom the king wishes to honor!'"
Who would want that? If an average citizen were offered a choice between Haman's reward or money, they would take the money. Or a title, or land, or anything that will improve his station in life. But Haman is not an average citizen, and Achashverosh knows it. Who wants a parade in the king's clothes? What will that do for him? Only a man who wants to BE the king would suggest such a ludicrous reward. And now Achashverosh knows Haman's true intentions.
So he has to take him down a peg or two.
"Fantastic idea. Now go - do all that you just suggested to Mordechai. Do you know Mordechai? He's the Jew that lately has been sitting by the palace gates. You must personally dress him in my clothes, put him on my horse, and lead him around the city exactly as you said. Do it. Do it exactly as you just told me."
And so, instead of hanging Mordechai as he'd wanted, Haman dresses Mordechai in Achasverosh's royal robes, saddles Achashverosh's horse and helps Mordechai get on it. He then heralds Mordechai through the streets of Shushan yelling: "Thus shall be done to the man whom the king wishes to honor!"
When the mini-parade is over, Mordechai returns to his mourning by the palace gates. Haman sulks home.
Yesterday, he was on top of the world! He was rich, powerful, and prestigious. The king would listen to him and him alone! And on top of all that, the queen had him at one party and invited him to another, both with only royalty in attendance! How wonderful! But now the king, for whatever reason is angry. He ordered Haman around like a common servant. And to lead a parade, how humiliating! And a parade for Mordechai, no less!
He tells all of this to Zeresh, his wife. When he's done, Zeresh drops a bombshell on her husband:
"Wait, Mordechai is a Jew? If that's the case, then you have no chance of coming out on top of all this."
Before Haman has a chance to ask what she means by that, palace guards arrive at the house to physically escort Haman to the second banquet Esther's prepared.
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